Communicating Differently

Do you find yourself communicating differently with people from other groups and cultures?

Yes!

I find myself communicating differently with Caucasians. As an African American woman who grew up in a poverty environment, I was told that some whites believe that blacks are uneducated and guilty of being involved with criminal acts. For that reason, I feel that I have to prove that stereotype to be incorrect whenever I converse with a white person.

I find myself to be more of an attentive listener when I communicate with a white person. I also find myself using "big words" that I would never use while talking with family and friends. I smile more than usual because I want to eliminate the assumptions that black women have bad attitudes and are very angry people. I use less humor. In fact, I become a little nervous while communicating with Caucasians because I feel that I have to prove a point; which is very unfortunate.

So, what are three strategies that can help me to communicate more effectively with this race?

*Relax. People can tell when others are nervous. Try to find comfort and refrain from proving a point.
*Use humor. Use humor when the opportunity is presented. Let's face it, we all love to laugh. However, be careful to not offend anyone.
*Stop using "big words." This could really cause friction in communication. I can not assume that all white are comfortable with using these types of words in a relaxed setting. Also, I can not assume that all white people may know the meaning to those choice of words.

I need to relax more, geesh!

Bad Girls Club

A television show that I do not watch is Bad Girls Club. After I turned the sound off, I could tell that some good relationships were established between a few of the girls. They were laughing and smiling with each other. They were sharing food and used calm faces while conversing together in their bedrooms. I could also tell that the group who had a good relationship with each other did not like one of the girls in the house. They were rolling their eyes at the young lady and it appeared that they were yelling while throwing food at her.

I assumed that the characters were hostile and bullies based on observing them torturing the young lady. My assumptions were right as I witnessed three of the girls fighting on her. My assumptions would have still been correct even if I had watched a show that I knew well.  Reason being is that the way people display their nonverbal communication towards each other pretty much sums up the type of relationship they have.

My experience with watching this show was not a good one. I am really surprised that so much violence is being aired on television. I have learned that you can get an idea of a person's character just by watching their facial expressions and body languages.

A Fireman at Work

My boyfriend is a firefighter and is an excellent competent communicator within a particular context. He is often invited to speak at functions, events, and school environments. I have witnessed him communicate with children and teachers in a classroom setting. He was very relaxed and calm while speaking, as he smiled often and used direct eye contact.  He was very friendly and polite and used phrases such as, "that is a wonderful question," referring to the questions that were asked by children and teachers. He would sometimes use humor to keep the children engaged and focused on his topic.

I would love to model some of his communication behaviors. Reason being is that his politeness and friendliness kept everyone engaged on his topic. His eye contact was fluent and made everyone feel comfortable while using a calm voice. He was very professional while communicating with the students and teachers and was an effective listener. The students loved that their voices were heard during the question and answer portion and was even more excited that a fireman was willing to listen.