I can recall hearing a student calling one of his peers a "fag" while I was a mentor for an after school program in college. The child who did the name calling was upset that the other child would not share his snack.The other children in the class begin to laugh while the child was being insulted. I believe this influenced all of the other children to believe that this term is a joke and is not hurtful to others. I also believe that they feel it is okay to call other children offensive names. Young children begin to pay attention to what others say and do: in part they mimic what they see and hear and they also internalise ways of acting, ways of speaking, and ways of being (Smidt, 2006, p. 94).
When I was younger, my peers would call me a "tom boy." I hated the term because I felt that they were actually calling me a boy to make jokes so that others would laugh. Indeed, this made me feel less of a girl after they called me this.
I do not recommend anyone referring a child or an adult as "fag," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," "gay," or "lesbo." These words can be very offensive and hurtful to others. Some people feel that calling a girl a "tom boy" is okay and not insulting. However, from my experience, I had a hard time accepting my identity because adults and children called me this term.
Let's protect our children's feelings and identity!
Reference
Smidt, S. (2006). The developing child in the 21st century: A
global perspective on child development. New York, NY: Routledge.
