Photo Collage

In this course, I have learned a great deal of valuable information about bias and how it affects children's identities. I will share the key highlights in a photo collage:

In the media segment, we heard how Tina 's thoughts about race was influenced by her family. Her parents did not approve of her interacting with children of color and she could not understand why.

Because of this, Tina was left confused. This interfered with her later in life, as she used a term that was disrespectful to the African American race.

Also, in the media segment, I was very touched by Quinn's story. His father abused him often, leaving him with emotional scars that could last a lifetime. Because of his abuse, Quinn's behavior begin to change and he became very violent. Children who experience child abuse struggle with low self-esteem and a profound "sense of inner badness," which often leads the child to engage in behavior that is not congruent with true self (Reyome, 2010, p. 225).

Quinn mentioned that the abuse left him lonely and afraid. I am sure Quinn felt that he was alone in the world and unprotected.

I have comprehended that young children's book can be very bias. These books rarely show images of African Americans as heroes/heroines. The books also depict beautiful people as nice and unattractive people are shown to be evil. 

Another key highlight for me is the importance of defining family. We define family as any relatively stable group of people bound by ties of blood, marriage, adoption, or by any sexually expressive relationship; or who simply live together, and who are committed to and provide each other with economic and emotional support (Schwartz & Scott, 2007, p. 3). I learned that many families are diverse and have close relationships with people who are not blood related.  It is important to respect the people who children consider family. 

                                                                      References

Reyome, N. D. (2010). Childhood emotional maltreatment and later intimate relationships: Themes from the empirical literature. Journal of Aggression, Maltreatment & Trauma, 19, 224–242.

Schwartz, M. A., & Scott, B. M. (2007). Marriages and families: Diversity and change (5th

             ed.). Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Prentice Hall.

Don't Say Those Words!

I can recall when I silenced one of my nephews because of a question that he asked concerning someone. He asked, "Why is that little girl so fat?" I blurted with anger, "Be quiet and do not say anything else!" I was upset and embarrassed by his question because the little girl was watching him, as he began to point his finger at her. After watching him pointing at her, she held her head down with sadness. I believe the messages that he received from my response included: that was not a good question to ask, I should keep my comments to myself, never question why a child is a certain size, and I can get in trouble if I ask the wrong questions. Looking back at it now, I should not have responded that way.

I believe one way an anti-bias educator could respond to this situation is by explaining to the child the affects this could have on the person being talked about. For instance, the educator could tell the child or class that asking a question out loud about their peers' differences could hurt their feelings. The educator could also explain that this could cause the child to have self-esteem issues and distance themselves from everyone. Also, I think it would be wise for the educator to include that all children are shaped differently and should be accepted and treated with fairness. 

I believe responding in a positive manner will build relationships among teachers and students and they will be comfortable asking questions that they may not feel they could ask their parents. Edelman (2004) stated that, "A relationship-based organization is one in which quality relationships characterized by trust, support, and growth exist among and between staff, parents, and children; these relationships form the foundation for all the work that is done," p. 7).

                                                             Reference

Edelman, L. (2004). A relationship-based approach to early intervention. Resources and Connections,   3(2). Retrieved from http://olms.cte.jhu.edu/olms/data/resource/1144/A%20Relationship-                  based%20Approach%20to%20Early%20Intervention.pdf

Homophobic Terms

I can recall hearing a student calling one of his peers a "fag" while I was a mentor for an after school program in college. The child who did the name calling was upset that the other child would not share his snack.The other children in the class begin to laugh while the child was being insulted. I believe this influenced all of the other children to believe that this term is a joke and is not hurtful to others. I also believe that they feel it is okay to call other children offensive names. Young children begin to pay attention to what others say and do: in part they mimic what they see and hear and they also internalise ways of acting, ways of speaking, and ways of being (Smidt, 2006, p. 94).

When I was younger, my peers would call me a "tom boy." I hated the term because I felt that they were actually calling me a boy to make jokes so that others would laugh. Indeed, this made me feel less of a girl after they called me this.

I do not recommend anyone referring a child or an adult as "fag," "homo," "sissy," "tom boy," "gay," or "lesbo." These words can be very offensive and hurtful to others. Some people feel that calling a girl a "tom boy" is okay and not insulting. However, from my experience, I had a hard time accepting my identity because adults and children called me this term.

Let's protect our children's feelings and identity!

                                                                    Reference

Smidt, S. (2006). The developing child in the 21st century: A global perspective on child development. New York, NY: Routledge.

Farewell....

To my colleagues,

I would like to thank each of you for your feedback and response to my blog and discussion posts! Thank you for motivating me throughout this course.You all are wonderful, unique individuals who will achieve goals that you have established. I will leave you all with this quote as you continue your education journey:

Best Wishes!
xoxo

Stage 5: Adjourning

Being on the cheerleading squad while in junior high school was a group that I was involved in that was dearest to me. We were a very competitive squad and won many first place trophies during competitions. We were very supportive towards one another. In fact, we were close like sisters and often had sleep overs at each other's home.

Indeed, both high performing groups and groups that establish norms are the hardest to leave. We performed at a high level and knew that it was difficult to find girls who were dedicated like us. We trusted each other and were always willing to work together to achieve our goals as a squad.

The coach for the squad had a closing ritual. We first had a banquet that allowed our coach to present awards to deserving members. After the banquet, we changed out of our casual wear to put on our uniforms to perform in front of parents for the last time. The last thing we did for the night was prayed with each other, hugged, and cried until we couldn't stop.

I can only imagine that it will be difficult  to adjourn from my colleagues. I have been enrolled in the same courses with most of them throughout my journey and have established healthy bonds. I am sure that we will wish each other the best on our future endeavors.

Adjourning is a very important stage of teamwork. This gives us the opportunity to say our last good bye's to people we have worked and bonded with. It  is also a stage where a group can celebrate or communicate about weaknesses and how to become a better team.

Back and Forth

My sister and I have been arguing back and forth about her enrolling into college. She feels as though college is a waste of time due to having to pay back student loans. She also feels that a degree does not guarantee the job of her choice. My argument is that furthering your education is beneficial. No one could ever take away the knowledge and skills you have enhanced. Although a degree does not guarantee a job, it does, however, allow you a greater opportunity to get a job.

I must admit, we have not communicated about this in a positive and polite manner.


Based on what I have learned this week, there are two strategies that I could use to help me manage our conflict:
1. Be compassionate.
2. Be respectful, reciprocal, and responsive.

Being compassionate while communicating with my sister will enable me to converse without the use of violence and hostile behaviors. My sister will not feel as though she is being targeted and blamed in any way. In addition, being a  respectful and responsive communicator is essential in this case. Great listening skills and the use of positive body languages, eye contact, and gestures plays a major part and should not be displayed in a negative way. I believe my sister will feel more comfortable communicating with me if I am respectful and responsive. I also think that this will build a stronger bond between us. It is also important that our communication is reciprocal. I hope that my sister would return the respect and responsiveness during our interactions.

Colleagues, do you feel that this strategy will define me as a effective communicator? Do you think using effective communication skills will make my sister feel more comfortable and convince her to go to college? How have each of you learned to be more effective communicators as it relates to conflict resolution skills?

Evaluation

 Do we consider how others may view us? Do we assume that they way we view ourselves is the same way that others view us? These are questions that I ponder on often.

When I think about the differences and similarities between how I evaluated myself as a communicator and how my sister and colleague evaluated me, I am most surprised about how they both viewed me as a person that loves to speak out at group meetings. I am surprised because I am not comfortable with speaking in front of a small or large group of people. In fact, I usually sit in the back of group meetings, but I allow my voice to be heard when the opportunity presents itself.

Here are two insights I have learned about communication this week:

1. You never know how others may perceive you as a communicator
2. We decide how we want to communicate with others based on their appearance


Each of the insights bring awareness to my professional work and personal life. It is essential to be careful with verbal and nonverbal cues because others could take it out of context. I may assume that I am a positive communicator but others may perceive me differently based on my attitude and body language. Also, I must be very careful when judging others based on their appearance because this has had an affect on my communication skills in the past. It is important to communicate with everyone with fairness and with a positive attitude.